


Dirty Santa

by LuxLouise



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dirty Santa, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Magical Sex Toys, Mutual Pining, Smut, body paints, holiday party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxLouise/pseuds/LuxLouise
Summary: When a game of dirty secret santa is proposed for the annual Christmas party, Neville finally gets the chance he's always looked for.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Neville Longbottom
Comments: 30
Kudos: 125
Collections: Dirty Festivus 2020





	Dirty Santa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LumosLyra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LumosLyra/gifts).



> Dirty Festivus is finally here! I'm so excited to share this and I hope it's smutty enough!! I hope you enjoy this, LumosLyra!
> 
> A huge thank you to TriDogMom for spearheading this fest! It's been so much fun!
> 
> Thanks to FaeOrabel for her beta work! All mistakes are my own!

It was a normal day, just a week before Christmas, and Neville was in a quandary. Harry and Draco had invited him to their annual Christmas party held on Christmas Eve, and instead of getting gifts for everyone like they always had, they were playing dirty secret Santa. Everyone had been given a person to buy for, and it had to be sexual, preferably funny. The problem was, Neville had picked Hermione’s name out of the hat.

He had never gotten over the crush he had on Hermione. After the war ended, they had both been lauded as heroes to magical Britain. Men wanted her, women wanted him, but he only had eyes for her. As brave as his actions during the war, Neville still couldn’t summon up the courage to ask Hermione out. She hadn’t dated anyone seriously in the four years since the war ended, though he had watched every single date she had been on—the ones that only lasted one date and the few that lasted for a couple of months. He told himself he was trying to figure out why they hadn’t worked out so he could do the opposite, but the truth was, he was afraid that she would reject him. The only person in his life that knew he was in love with Hermione was Luna Lovegood. She had been, in her way, encouraging him to just go for it. Unfortunately for Neville, he wasn’t that type of guy.

Sitting in his flat, staring at the small slip of paper that had Hermione’s name scrawled across in what he recognised as Harry’s messy handwriting. Neville had already picked a present to give to Hermione before the dirty secret Santa plan was revealed. He had found a music box in the Muggle world that played a song that he knew her mum had sung to her as a baby. She hadn’t been able to recover her parent’s memories after the war, and he knew she still mourned the loss of them. He had thought the box would be not only a wonderful reminder of her mum but also a great way to show his interest in her. Harry, Draco, and their stupid idea were getting in the way of his grand plan.

There were, of course, many places in the Muggle world Neville could go to find some sort of dirty gift for Hermione, but not knowing how to find those places without asking for help from her or Harry, he sought out George Weasley. The remaining Weasley twin and Lee Jordan had expanded Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes to a much grander scale. They now had shops in Hogsmeade, three in Ireland, seven in America, and were looking to open up shops in China and Russia. They had recently released a line of adult toys that ranged from magical edible underwear that changed flavours with every bite to charmed toys one could use in the bedroom. Deciding he would visit the shop the next day, Neville took a scrap of paper, placed it inside a book—that was sitting on his coffee table Hermione had given him that covered plants of Greece—and headed to bed. 

* * *

Walking into WWW was always an assault on the senses. Bangs, flashes, and the smell of gunpowder was overpowering, but the laughter of children and adults alike always brought a smile to Neville’s face. Not wanting to go directly to the backroom that housed the adult products, he wandered around the shop, looking at new products and helping a small boy reach a box of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. Looking around to make sure no one was paying him any attention, Neville slipped through the door that had an Age Line on it, not allowing anyone under the age of twenty-one to wander back there. Just as his eyes adjusted to the slightly darker room, an exuberant voice called out to him.

“Neville! Never thought I would catch you in here. Anything I can help you find? Get yourself a bird, finally?” George called out, his magenta robes flowing around him as he stepped from behind a display case of vibrating wands.

His cheeks heating up, Neville ran a hand down his face. “I was, uh, looking for something for the secret Santa.”

A knowing smirk came over Georges’s face. “Any hints on who you were paired with?”

“Not on a bet,” Neville told him as he peered into a case of crystals that the sign proclaimed would help your ‘climax last longer.’

“I’m just looking for something a bit tame, anything like that here?”

George wandered around, fixing a few products that had been put back wrong by customers. “I have edible underwear, flavoured body paint, and a few magical card games of a sexual nature that might interest you.”

Neville’s mind immediately filled with images on Hermione spread out on his bed, covered in red and gold body paint. Clearing his throat and adjusting his trousers with his back to George, he grabbed a few tubes of the Gryffindor coloured body paints that said the flavours changed to your favourites the more you used them.

“Ah yes, the house body paint, a great choice. One of our most popular. I can ring you up if you’d like, we’re offering gift wrapping as well.” George told him, his business tone coming out.

“That would be great. Thanks, George.”

* * *

The night of the party, Neville took a shot of firewhisky before he grabbed the vibrantly wrapped present that had sat on his kitchen table the entire week. Stepping into the Floo, he called out his destination and seconds later, he was stumbling out of the Floo in Grimmauld Place, the party already in full swing.

“Neville, glad to see you mate!” Harry slurred out slightly, throwing an arm around Neville and pressing a drink into his hand. “Ginny made the punch, not sure what’s in it, but it’ll get the job done!”

Taking a long drink, Neville coughed as the punch went down like fire, and not in the pleasant way that firewhisky did.

“Cor, that is rough,” he laughed, turning when the Floo behind him roared to life and Hermione stepped out. She was in a short, dark green dress that hugged her curves and a pair of heels that would have still made her a good six inches shorter than him.

“Neville,” she exclaimed, her cheeks tinged a bit pink when she caught sight of them. “Happy Christmas.”

Harry yelled his hello and threw his arms around Hermione. Neville made his escape, heading towards the sitting room where the majority of the guests were mingling. Saying hello as he passed people, he took a seat on the couch next to Luna who was chatting with George Weasley, who threw him a wink and grin when he spotted the wrapped package in Neville’s hand.

Just as Neville was getting ready to speak to Luna, Draco, Harry, and Hermione walked into the room.

“Welcome to the annual Christmas Party! Is everyone ready for Secret Santa?” Draco called out. “There’s a bit more to the game than we originally let on,” he said with a smirk.

Groans and laughter could be heard in equal measure around the room.

“The person you picked out to get a gift for is also the person who chose your name, and we also added—”

“With my help!” George called out with a laugh.

“With George’s help, added a bit of magic to the parchments. The person who you picked is attracted to you and vice versa.”

The colour drained from Neville’s faces as he looked down at his feet, refusing to make eye contact with Hermione. This hadn’t been how he wanted her to find out about his interest in her.

Harry yelled for everyone to quiet down. “Now, if everyone would find your person and find a quiet place to exchange gifts, preferably away from everyone, we would appreciate it.”

Neville stood and quickly made his way out of the room, hoping Hermione would follow him since she had his name as well. Making his way up the stairs to the library, he left the door ajar, and as he stepped farther into the room, he heard it shut quietly behind him.

“Well, this wasn’t how I thought this was going to go,” Hermione said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Neville turned to look at her, “Nor I. I hoped to give you this and make a quick escape.” He told her with a little laugh, holding out the package towards her. 

She handed him a similarly wrapped present that made him assume she had also gone to WWW looking for a gift. Without looking at each other, they both unwrapped gifts. Neville chucked when he saw that she had also purchased the Gryffindor set of edible body paints.

“Neville,” Hermione said quietly. “Before anything else is said, I need to tell you something.”

He looked up and found her pulling at her fingers, looking down at a spot to the left of him.

“I’ve wanted to tell you this for some time but hadn’t figured out a way to do so without ruining our friendship. Given our friends’ heavy-handed Santa game, I think you should know that I have feelings for you, and have for some time now.”

All of his breath left him as he listened to her confession. That she felt the same way about him as he did about her was unthinkable. He had never once considered that maybe, just maybe, she also wanted him as much as he wanted her. Without conscious thought, Neville crossed the space between then and pulled her close to him, lowering his mouth to hers. She responded with gusto, throwing her arms around his neck and leaning into the kiss, a small moan escaping her lips. When his tongue snaked its way into her mouth, he didn’t think he had ever felt this way before in his life, one hand sliding down her side and cupping her arse before he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist.

He carried her until he sat her down on a nearby table, her legs staying firmly around him, his erection grinding against her before he slid his hand down between her legs and found her soaking wet knickers. Pulling on them roughly, he tore them from her, throwing them over his shoulder before thrusting two fingers inside her soaking wet cunt. The feel of her muscles tightening around his digits was enough to push him over the edge. He stilled when he felt her pull back.

“Lock the door,” her voice was thick with desire, her eyes were glazed over with lust. 

Without moving away from her, he pulled his wand out of his pocket with his free hand, throwing a locking charm at the library door, never taking his eyes off of hers.

“Silent, very impressive.” she moaned out as he thrust his fingers inside her faster. Neville hoped the party was still going on loudly below them so no one would hear her. Not that he cared, but she might. He began kissing down her cheek, around her ear, across her collar bone until he pushed down the top of her strapless dress. Pulling a nipple into his mouth, he grinned when her cunt clamped down on his fingers at the feel of his ministrations. Neville could tell she was close and began thrusting faster until he pulled his digits out abruptly, a pout quickly forming on her lips.

He divested himself of his shirt quickly, and Hermione leaned forward, pulling his belt off and helping to remove his trousers. Picking her up again, he gently tossed her on the black chaise lounge that was in the corner of the library. Shimming out of her dress completely, she tossed it to the side. Positioning himself between her thighs, he began kissing his way up her right leg, switching back and forth to her left until he settled quite comfortably with his head between her thighs. The moment he began to lick her slit, her legs tightened around his head, and her breathing became laboured.

“You...you…don’t have to do that.”

Sitting up slightly, he glanced up at her. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I do, but if you don’t, you don’t have to.”

Smirking, he kissed her inner thigh. “There is nowhere I’d rather be than with my face right here.” Before she could say anything else, he latched onto her clit and sucked gently, three fingers inside her dripping cunt, pumping faster and faster. The feel of her juices running down his face was enough to bring a moan from his lips. Her pussy clamped down on his fingers, and she came with no warning. When she had come down from the high, he kissed his way up her body.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked her, trailing a finger down her cheek.

She smiled up at him. “For longer than I care to admit.”

Throwing her leg over his shoulder, his hard cock poised at her entrance, he smiled down at her and thrust into her. Being inside her, feeling her warm heat clamping around him was better than Neville had ever imagined it could be. The fluttering of her cunt around his hard cock was making it hard to concentrate on prolonging the experience. He was certain she would bring him over the edge quicker than he wanted. It had been an embarrassingly long time since he had been inside a woman, and it had never felt like this.

“Harder,” she breathed out.

Thrusting into her, the only sounds were his heavy breathing, her occasional moans, and the sound of their skin coming together. She gripped his forearm, her nails digging into his skin so hard he was confident—and ecstatic—that she would leave a mark. He was getting closer and closer, and he felt her cunt tighten around him. Just as she yelled out his name, he spilt himself inside her with a low groan.

He laid on top of her, both breathing heavily in the aftermath of their coupling. Pulling himself off of her, he nudged her gently until she was on her side, pulling her tightly against him.

“That’s not how I planned for tonight to go.” He told her with a laugh as he ran a finger up and down her soft arm.

“Nor I, but it’s definitely what I hoped would happen eventually.” She looked over towards the door. “We forgot about the paint.

Neville tugged on her arm until she turned around, facing him. “There’s always next time,” he told her with a smile on his face, hoping she wouldn’t want this just to be a one-off.

“There’s an entire section of Wheezes that we can try out,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face.

He cleared his throat and placed a kiss to her soft lips. “I don’t want this to be a one-off, Hermione. I’ve been in love with you for years; I just didn’t know how to say anything.”

She looked at him, an unreadable expression on her face before she pushed his chest until he rolled over on his back and she straddled him.

“I don’t want that either. I’ve wanted you, not just for sex, for a long time. We’ve known each other forever,” she told him. His cock was already beginning to stir at the sight of her above him, her hand caressing down his chest, and her hair a halo around her head.

“We’re just skipping a few steps—awkward dates and the like. You’re mine now, Neville Longbottom, and I have no intention of letting you go.”

When she slid down once again on his hard cock, he grinned up at her before sitting up slightly so he could run his hand up to the back of her neck, grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling a moan from her lips.

“Oh little witch, like you could get rid of me.”

* * *

What felt like hours, but was only forty minutes or so later, both he and Hermione had put their clothes back on, adjusted their hair, and headed back down to the party, Neville’s arm wrapped firmly around her waist. The moment they appeared downstairs, a cacophony of noise surrounded them. They both took a step back, startled.

“What happened?” Hermione exclaimed, looking around to find nothing but smirking faces.

Neville watched, his face becoming increasingly red, as Draco swaggered forward.

“The brightest witch of the age has never heard of a silencing charm then?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
